So I finally get to see this “amazing” mortal all the other gods are talking about… “Odysseus”, I believe they called him. This should be interesting. Oh, pardon me, where are my manners? Let me introduce myself. I’m Hephaestus, the god of craftsmanship, fire, volcanoes, the forge… you get the idea. Anyways, I’m about to take a look at the so called “hero” Odysseus. Care to join me? I can’t take one step into Olympus without hearing at least three of the gods talking about him. Seeing as how annoying this is getting, I’m about to watch him for a while. If I deem him worthy enough, I’ll spare his life.If he doesn’t, then I’ll end him and all of the praise that I can’t go anywhere without hearing. Alright, enough stalling. Just let me get my picture-box machine working. It’s just a little project of mine, sometimes I call it a “television”. Just have to adjust this antenna and… great! It’s working. Which one is he? There’s one that seems to be much more arrogant and annoying than the others. I bet it’s him. Yes, this one must be Odysseus. Why is it so dark in here? Oh, they’re in some cave. But wait… is that a Cyclops? It is. They’re trapped in there with a son of Poseidon. I bet they were being nosey. Mortals are always being nosey. Oh, and now the cyclops (I think I recognize him… is that Polyphemus?) is eating the men. Oh well. They deserve it. It just saves me from having to kill them myself. Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have magical artifacts to go forge. Call for me is something interesting happens.
Are they still doing nothing of relative importance? No? You say they stabbed Polyphemus? In the eye? By Zeus’ beard, how could they possibly accomplish that task? That’s horrible. Polyphemus was a great man- er, Cyclops. In fact, he used to work for me. He had a lot of potential too… if only he had been more careful around the fire. But that’s quite a shame… I was going to offer him a job again soon. He was so much more helpful than some of these cursed automatons. This is really making me very angry… I swear, if Odysseus does make it out of here, I will take it upon myself to find the most painful, excruciating, and least glorifying death any being has ever thought of. Oh, I’m sorry, you must excuse me. I tend to get a little carried away sometimes, especially when great workers like that are wasted. I suppose you should be going now. Yes… that would be best.
Are they still doing nothing of relative importance? No? You say they stabbed Polyphemus? In the eye? By Zeus’ beard, how could they possibly accomplish that task? That’s horrible. Polyphemus was a great man- er, Cyclops. In fact, he used to work for me. He had a lot of potential too… if only he had been more careful around the fire. But that’s quite a shame… I was going to offer him a job again soon. He was so much more helpful than some of these cursed automatons. This is really making me very angry… I swear, if Odysseus does make it out of here, I will take it upon myself to find the most painful, excruciating, and least glorifying death any being has ever thought of. Oh, I’m sorry, you must excuse me. I tend to get a little carried away sometimes, especially when great workers like that are wasted. I suppose you should be going now. Yes… that would be best.